My submission to Roger’s Profanisaurus made it into this month’s Viz (May issue, no. 175).

This may be the first time an entry in the Profanisaurus has ever featured the word “ontological” (or the phrase “radically divergent”). Then again, it may not. One of my favourite definitions from a few months ago contained the word “corvoid”. Viz has frequently illustrated the truth of J. P. Donleavy’s observation that the power of a coarse word may be greatly amplified if it is combined with an erudite one (Donleavy’s own, unsurpassed, example beginning “you unconscionable…”). The admirable Richard Seymour is also an accomplished practitioner in this area.

Annoyingly, I didn’t get a pencil - probably because I submitted online, and didn’t therefore supply a proper (non-email) address. Next time inspiration strikes, I’ll use the post.

I did briefly consider trying to work something up about well-pointedness, but the recondite element is just too recondite and the coarse element too bloody obvious (not that this is always necessarily an obstacle). However, I do think there is an immediate and urgent requirement for someone to come up with a definition of “Boris Johnson” that matches Dan Savage’s appropriation of “Santorum” for stomach-turning filthiness.