I dreamt I had been put in a gorilla cage, and the gorilla that was in the cage before was outside, living my life.

Because I am smarter than a gorilla, I frequently escaped from the cage. But every time I did, someone would jab me with a hypodermic needle full of gorilla tranquiliser drugs and I would end up back in the cage again.

The person with the needle would just be an ordinary person, any ordinary person you might brush past in the street. There was no way of knowing in advance who it was going to be. I spent all my time outside the cage frightened that the next person I saw would be the person with the needle.

Nobody would believe me that I wasn’t the gorilla, that the gorilla who was living my life was the real gorilla, and that he and not I should be in the cage.

Eventually it was time for me to have sex with a female gorilla. I didn’t want to do that! I wanted to get away so badly! So I woke up.

I am not a gorilla.