DIRTBAG JEZZA

SUN JOURNALIST: Mr Corbyn
CORBYN: asphinctersayswhat
SUN JOURNALIST what

CORBYN: …

TOM WATSON: Jeremy
CORBYN: yo deputy dawg
TOM WATSON: I’ve been meaning to talk to you
about the NATO thing
CORBYN: lol
TOM WATSON: I’m serious
what about Russia
CORBYN: asphinctersayswhat…
TOM WATSON: …
CORBYN: …aboutrussia

PAXMAN: Mr Corbyn
CORBYN: yo
PAXMAN: Questions have been raised
about your associations with Islamist organi-
CORBYN: hey paxman
do you have any of those blue pills
PAXMAN: What pills
CORBYN: you know
the ones you eat
so you can gobble the ghosties
PAXMAN: what

CORBYN: mr prime minster
my next question comes from Sam
in London
[jeers from Labour benches]
CAMERON: you mean Sam
Cameron
my wife
Samantha
CORBYN: yes
she wants to know
where you keep the emergency johnnies
CAMERON: what
CORBYN: where’s michael gove
mr prime minster
why isn’t he sitting next to you
right now
CAMERON: omg
CORBYN: i know
right
[sings to theme tune of “Byker Grove”] Michael! Gooooove!